I still...

I still expect you to walk in the front door. I still expect your arms to wrap around me when I lay down to sleep. I still hope it's you when my phone rings. I still expect to see you grin and take a picture when I do something wierd. I still turn a corner and hope to see you standing there. I still get out the shower expecting you to ask me what movie we are watching. I still cook enough for two so when you get home you can eat too. I still turn around in the morning for my kiss to see your not laying there. I still say I am over you and am reminded everyday I am not. And I am not sure I ever will be. We are going on 2 months and I can't shake you from my brain or my memories. I still love you. 

My night is not sun shining

What makes it harder and harder is when that piece of hope slips. Every once in a while you feel it. You know you are holding into bad hope but then all of the sudden with no warning or note the hope pieces crumble like egg shells. There is no picking them back up and there is ok making it work. I want to so bad I want to glue all the pieces together and I want it to go back I want to rewind. I want my hope back I want to believe again. I can't. The world is terrible and everything about it is just as bad. I am such a bitch recently. But hell how can anyone else love me. Fuck I hate myself so there is no way. I know why I don't have friends and I am trying. It's freaking in possible.

I am going to wallow in alcohol and alice in wonderland. Have a great snow day Philadelphia. 

Em

My first surreal photograph

Ok guys I need someone to let me know what they think of this image. I can't post it on my normal critique page for fear of being judged about the content.  So good bad indifferent let me know what you think?? Please haha