An honest breakdown

2014 is a quarter over… Can you even believe that time has gone by that quickly. I started 2014 on a page that I never thought I would have. Jess leaving has been a really long experience for me. That has been a lot of changes in my life since then. I can’t lie and say I am over it.

Since the quarter started in January I have made new friends and reconnected with an old friend. One of my new friends, Lets call him Christophe, in honor of my new favorite movie Frozen. He has been a God send. Someone that I really can talk to well and he takes some probing to just let me talk but we have a great time just talking. It is so surreal to have someone who you don’t have to explain the opinions to and someone who kind of feels the same way about life experiences. He is going through relationship difficulties as well so its great to get to talk about them with someone who can just listen and give an outside opinion. He very much loves this girl. I see it every time we talk about it. The other day we were drinking koolaid, (The pink lemonade flavor because that is the best). And just discussing life in general. I am melting down after hearing from Jess and being officially blocked on all social media, On her birthday she completely ignored me and didn’t even acknowledge the gift I had sent her (to be fair she sent me one too so it was required). I was basically letting him have it because I was so hurt over the whole experience. After a while of flying off the handle he said that he could really see how I loved her still and that I wasn’t anywhere near ready to move on like I wish I was. Well I had one of those moments where  what comes out of your own mouth completely surprises yourself. I basically told him that If you honestly love someone and you know that you cared for them and gave them every piece of you that  you have you don’t get over them. You always love those people. There is no reason to try and block it out. There is absolutely no reason to deny that you always care about them. Long story short he thought about it and decided that it was true! Eventutally you come to terms that you love them and they don’t love you back and its completely ok because true acts of love are not about being equal but about doing things that are hard for yourself for someone.  You can’t spend your whole life pinning away about these people in your life but you need to acknowledge the need for them and the fact that you don’t get over it.  And once again that is COMPLETELY OK to never stop loving someone, Just don’t stalk them…. That is a problem.