I am in complete shock. You all know about my girlfriend who I share a small studio apartment with. Well she is with me no more. We flew home to visit family for Christmas; on Christmas she text me and said that she wasn't flying home with me. I mean we had fought before and she had said that she was moving back home but when the fight ended we normally just knew that didn't really mean anything. Well I am sitting in the airport flying from Indiana to Philadelphia all by myself. I just don't even know what to do. I am so hurt! How can you love someone so much and do everything they ask and they still just throw you out the window. I am just beside myself.
We had a life. We had a plan. I thought we were happy. I offered to do anything I could to make this better. I promised to do whatever she wants. I am amazed that this has now happened to me twice! How do I go back to our apartment and live our life like nothing is wrong. I cry myself to sleep every night since. How do I pretend there is nothing wrong? How do I go on? I am so heavy. There is this terrible weight sitting inside my stomach that half the times threatens to make me throw up everything I have eaten in the last 12 days. The rest of the time it just reminds me how much I hurt. How much I feel like I am missing a piece of me. This is terrible. and I am just at a complete loss of what to do. I am in so much pain!
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