Should I be afraid??

Last week while I was in the Emergency room I was approached by students who have to do surveys and they need as many people as they can get. I told them I didn't mind answering their questions. They ended up being pretty basic questions. Was I scared? What was I there for? Could the hospital have done more for me? Was I comfortable? Then some stuff about my childhood like if I was abused or spent a lot of time in the hospital. There was one question that honestly has be thinking still. And I think you guys need to read about it. 

Are you afraid to die? 

I answered no without hesitation. I have never really been afraid to die. The idea of dieing doesn't scare me. The idea of being dead isn't scary to me either. I think part of me actually was surprised by myself that I answered so quickly. 

Here is my reasoning;

Why should I be afraid of something I don't have any control over. If I spend my life worrying about dieing then I will just be forgotten. If I spend my life making a difference I am much more likely to be remembered. What kind of a life did I live if I never change anyone or never touch someone's heart? 

Are you guys afraid to die?  Am I over looking some huge piece to this puzzle? 

I smiled today.

I am really sorry about being completely MIA for an entire month. Needless to say I haven't had much to say anyways. School, work, photography, I was just going through the motions. I tried being by myself. I tried constantly being around people. I tried losing my self. I tried rebounds. I have tried ALOT of things. I am finding I actually kind of like who I am now. Here is the thing that is really baffling my mind right now. Why did I hate myself so much when I was with her? Its because she made me feel like someone who was terrible. No matter who I tried to be or what I tried to do I could always be doing this or should have done that. The only thing she ever loved was be breaking up her brother. I love her! and honestly if she called I would do anything for her and she knows it. but I am making friends. I have people who care about me and tell me the things I do are cool and enjoy seeing me. and hang out with me. People who like to talk to me and just call me because. Who think of me because they wonder if I am doing ok. I have GREAT people in my life. I know who I want to be today and that will change 15 times before noon tomorrow and that is COMPLETELY OK!!! I am still hurt and little things still set me off! but I am here. I am planning so many travel trips and photo excursions I can't even count them or begin to tell you about them. I mean if you want an idea go check out my Pinterest. I typically tend to pin them all anyways! I know what I want and I have a plan to get there. I am an adult and I am learning that you trip you fall and you pick yourself back up. That is the thing in life you learn to love. The greatest part is: I DO NOT NEED A MAN, A WOMEN, OR ANYONE ELSE TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ANYMORE!!! I am a strong independent women and I can be that person by myself standing on my own two feet without another person on my spot light or even near my spot light. I LOVE IT!!!

Go out today do something that makes you feel empowered. make your self happy and make yourself smile! Do it. do it everyday! You will be so much happier and you will go in a direction you never thought possible! Smile genuinely!

My first surreal photograph

Ok guys I need someone to let me know what they think of this image. I can't post it on my normal critique page for fear of being judged about the content.  So good bad indifferent let me know what you think?? Please haha